Feeling Fried? Here’s How to Actually Reset This Summer (Without the Pressure)

I don’t know about you, but as soon as the weather gets warm, this invisible pressure seems to land on my shoulders. It’s the pressure to be happy, to be outside, to have the “best summer ever.” Honestly, it can be exhausting. For years, I’ve seen this pattern in my coaching work: summer arrives, and instead of feeling refreshed, people feel a quiet anxiety to perform joy.

But what if we used this season for the opposite? What if summer, with its natural shift in energy, was the perfect time to slow down and truly reset our mental and emotional baseline? This isn’t about a self-care checklist or forcing yourself to go to a million barbecues. It’s about a few pro-level techniques to work with the season, not against it.

By the way, if you’re feeling totally overwhelmed and can only do one thing, try this. It’s my go-to quick win. Pause for a moment and do the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. Just silently name 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. It takes about 60 seconds and acts like a mini-reboot for a frantic mind. More on that later!

Working With Your Body’s Clock, Not Against It

Our bodies are hardwired to respond to the natural world, and the biggest signal out there is light. The longer days of summer aren’t just a good excuse for a late-night walk; they have a real, measurable effect on our biology. More sunlight helps our bodies make Vitamin D (crucial for mood) and prompts our brains to produce more serotonin, that feel-good chemical that helps us feel calm and focused.

This extra energy is great… until it isn’t. The pressure to “make the most of the daylight” can easily lead to burnout. Have you ever felt guilty for just wanting to chill on the couch on a beautiful sunny day? That’s the summer slump, and it’s totally normal.

This is where a practice called “attunement” comes in. It’s just a fancy word for learning to listen to your body and aligning what you do with your actual energy levels. It’s about using the energy when it serves you and giving yourself permission to be still when you need it.

Here’s how to start practicing attunement right now:

• Try a 2-Minute Body Check-In: Close your eyes. Take one deep breath. Ask yourself, “On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s my real energy level right now?” Then, scan your body. Where do you feel tension? Is your jaw tight? Are your shoulders creeping up to your ears? You don’t have to fix anything. The goal is just to notice. That simple act of noticing is the first step.

Oh, and if you try to rest but your brain just floods you with guilt? Acknowledge the thought. “Ah, there’s that guilt again.” Then, gently remind yourself that rest is productive. It’s how you refuel. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission over and over again until it sticks.

Create a Space That Helps You Unwind

Before we can quiet our minds, it helps to quiet our surroundings. A cluttered space isn’t just messy; from a psychological standpoint, it’s a constant to-do list for your brain. Every pile of mail or stack of books is a tiny, unfinished decision that keeps your system in a low-grade state of stress.

The goal isn’t a sterile, magazine-perfect home. It’s about creating a space that feels restorative to you. Here’s a method I teach that avoids the usual overwhelm:

The Zone Method: Instead of tackling the whole house, pick one tiny zone. I mean tiny. Your nightstand, a single kitchen drawer, the passenger seat of your car. Set a timer for 15 minutes and go. Anything in that zone is either put away, tossed, or donated. Finishing one small space gives you a hit of accomplishment that makes doing the next zone easier.

A common mistake is moving piles around. A great rule to adopt is the “one-touch” rule. When you pick something up, decide its fate right then and there. Don’t move that bill from the dining table to the kitchen counter. Deal with it—file it, pay it, shred it. This habit alone stops piles from ever forming.

Heads up on sentimental items: What about that concert ticket stub or old birthday card? Getting stuck on these can derail the whole process. My favorite trick is to create one designated “memory box.” You can find a nice-looking photo box or wooden chest for $20-$40 at places like Michael’s or online. If the item is truly special and it fits in the box, it stays. This gives your memories a proper home without letting them clutter your daily life.

Taming Your Mind (The Practical Stuff)

With summer’s looser schedules, our minds can get stuck in unhelpful loops—replaying mistakes or pre-worrying about the future. Psychologists call this rumination, and it’s like a wheel spinning in mud. It’s repetitive and gets you nowhere. Productive reflection, on the other hand, feels like you’re learning something and moving forward.

Telling yourself to “just stop thinking about it” almost never works. In fact, it usually makes the thought stronger. A much better approach is to create a little distance. The next time a thought like “I’m such a mess” pops into your head, try rephrasing it to yourself: “I’m having the thought that I’m a mess.” See the difference? You aren’t the thought; you’re the one observing it. It’s a small shift, but it’s incredibly powerful.

Another great tool is structured journaling. Here are a couple of methods that actually work:

• Schedule “Worry Time”: This sounds wild, but it’s a game-changer. Designate a specific 15-minute window each day—say, 5:00 PM—as your official worry time. If an anxious thought pops up at 10 AM, you mentally tell it, “Thanks, but I’ll deal with you at 5:00.” When your appointment arrives, you sit down and write out every single worry. When the 15 minutes are up, you close the book. From my experience, the first time I tried this, I just spent the whole day worrying about my worry appointment! It takes a little practice, but soon your brain learns to contain the anxiety to that one block of time.
• The 3-Good-Things Journal: At the end of the day, write down three specific things you’re grateful for. Not “my family,” but “the way my partner made me laugh so hard I snorted.” Specificity is key because it trains your brain to actively scan your day for positives. A simple notebook from Target for $5 is all you need to get started.

A quick but important disclaimer: these tools are fantastic for managing the everyday stress of a healthy mind. If you’re dealing with persistent intrusive thoughts, deep depression, or trauma, these are not a substitute for professional care. Reaching out to a licensed therapist is a sign of incredible strength.

Connection Is a Biological Need, Not a Chore

Summer is supposed to be social, right? So why can it feel so lonely? The truth is, we need connection like we need water, but the quality of that connection matters more than the quantity. A packed calendar of superficial events can be more draining than restorative.

Some of the best relationship research talks about “bids for connection.” A bid is any small attempt to get attention or affection from someone. It can be a friend sending you a funny meme, or a partner sighing from across the room. The health of our relationships depends on how we respond. “Turning toward” the bid (laughing at the meme, asking “What’s up?”) strengthens the bond. Turning away (ignoring it) erodes it over time.

To make this practical without burning out, try this tiered approach based on your energy:

• Low Energy: Send a specific, thoughtful text. Not just “Thinking of you,” but “Hey, I just heard that song we loved and thought of you. Hope you’re having a good week.”
• Medium Energy: Schedule a 15-minute phone call. Putting a clear time limit on it removes the pressure of a long, rambling conversation. It’s a focused dose of connection.
• High Energy: Plan a simple, low-pressure activity. Think a walk in the park or grabbing a coffee. The goal is conversation, not a loud, overwhelming environment.

And what if you send a bid and your friend doesn’t respond? Try not to take it personally. A non-response is almost always about their energy level or what’s going on in their life, not a rejection of you. The goal is to get into the habit of sending out these small bids without being attached to the outcome.

Get Out of Your Head and Into the World

When you feel stuck in a thought spiral, the fastest way out is to get into your body and your immediate surroundings. This is where grounding comes in. It’s a technique that pulls your attention to the present moment and calms your nervous system.

Remember that 5-4-3-2-1 method from the beginning? Let’s do it for real.

Pause reading right now. Don’t even finish this paragraph. Silently name 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

What did you notice? It’s a mental reset button you can press anywhere, anytime.

You can amplify this effect by spending a little time in nature. You don’t need a massive trip to a national park. Research shows that even 20 minutes in a natural setting, three times a week, can lower stress hormones and improve focus. This could be a city park, a local trail, or even just your own backyard. Quick tip: leave your phone in your pocket. The point is to notice the sound of the wind, the smell of the grass, and the feeling of the sun on your skin.

Of course, be smart about it. Wear sunscreen, bring water, and if you’re heading out on a trail alone, always let someone know your route and when you expect to be back. Safety first, then relaxation.

Plan Your Time Off with Intention

A vacation planned as a desperate escape usually just provides temporary relief. The real magic happens when you reframe breaks—whether it’s a week-long trip or a single afternoon off—as an intentional period of restoration, connection, or growth.

Before you plan anything, ask yourself: “What’s the one core value I need to honor with this time off?” Is it Rest? Adventure? Connection? Solitude?

Once you know the value, plan around it. For example, if you’re burnt out, “Adventure” might not mean a grueling hike. It might mean the gentle adventure of trying a new restaurant or visiting a museum in your own city. If your value is “Rest,” then a packed sightseeing schedule is working against you. An itinerary for rest might look like: sleep without an alarm, read a book by a pool, and order takeout.

This works for any budget. A weekend honoring “Solitude and Learning” could be a fancy cabin that costs $500, or it could be a free trip to the local library and an afternoon at home with your phone turned off. The power is in the intention, not the price tag.

Your Pace, Your Practice

Look, this isn’t about adding a dozen more things to your to-do list. It’s about picking one or two small practices that feel right for you and creating a little more space for your mind to settle and your body to restore.

Start small. Try one technique that resonated with you. See how it feels for a week. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s just consistent, compassionate practice. Your well-being is the most important project you’ll ever have, and you deserve to feel good, especially in the summer.

Inspirational Gallery

Create a “scent-scape” that signals relaxation. While citrus and mint are energizing, scents like lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood are proven to calm the nervous system. Consider a high-quality diffuser, like those from Vitruvi, with a blend of geranium and frankincense to ground your space and shift the evening mood from busy-day to restful-night without any effort.

Nearly 40% of adults check work emails outside of office hours, a habit that often intensifies with the longer daylight of summer.

This “always-on” mentality is a direct path to burnout. The solution? Create a “digital sunset.” An hour before you want to start winding down, put your phone on airplane mode or use a focus app like Freedom to block notifications. It’s a simple, firm boundary that gives your brain the permission it needs to log off, even if the sun is still up.

Struggling to find a moment of peace?

Instead of just chugging water, turn hydration into a mindful micro-ritual. The simple act of preparing a special drink can be a pause in itself. Try cold-brewing herbal tea overnight. A glass pitcher of hibiscus or rooibos tea in the fridge not only looks beautiful but offers a caffeine-free refreshment. Or, add slices of cucumber and a sprig of rosemary to your water bottle. The subtle flavor is a gentle sensory anchor that brings you back to the present moment.

• Lessens mental fatigue
• Improves mood and focus
• Reduces feelings of overwhelm

The secret? The art of ‘soft gazing’. Instead of intensely focusing on a single point, let your eyes drift softly over a natural scene—the leaves on a tree, the clouds, or the waves. This practice, known in mindfulness as ‘soft fascination,’ allows your mind to wander without pressure, providing a true mental reset.

Classic Journaling: Using a pen and a dedicated notebook, such as a simple Moleskine, allows for a tactile, screen-free experience. It’s great for slowing down thoughts and can feel meditative.

Audio Diary: Using the voice memo app on your phone to record your thoughts can feel more natural and less like a chore. It captures the emotion in your voice and is perfect for processing feelings on a walk or when you lack the energy to write.

Neither is better than the other. The goal is gentle reflection, so choose the path with the least resistance for you today.