Feeling Overwhelmed? A Practical Guide to Calming Your Nervous System

For years, I’ve worked with people who are just completely maxed out. They walk in with their shoulders practically touching their ears, breathing in tiny sips of air, and a mind that just refuses to quiet down. I remember one person, a project manager, who described his stress as this constant, high-pitched hum he couldn’t escape. And honestly, that’s a pretty common feeling these days.

Here’s the thing: you can’t just tell someone to “relax.” It doesn’t work. You have to give them the actual tools to work with their body’s own wiring. Stress isn’t some kind of character flaw; it’s a physical response. After a few weeks of practicing some of the simple tools we’ll talk about, that same project manager told me the hum was gone most days, and that he was using one of the breathing tricks right before big meetings to stay grounded. It gave him back a sense of control.

My goal isn’t to help you get rid of stress entirely—that’s not just impossible, it’s not even a good idea. Short bursts of stress help us get things done. This is about learning how to regulate your system. It’s about knowing how to find the brakes when your body’s alarm gets stuck in the “on” position.

So, What’s Actually Happening in Your Body?

To get a handle on stress, you first have to know what’s going on under the hood. The easiest way to think about it is that your body has a gas pedal and a brake pedal. This whole setup is your Autonomic Nervous System, and it runs all the automatic stuff you don’t have to think about, like your heart rate and breathing.

The Gas Pedal (Your “Fight-or-Flight” Response)

When you sense a threat—whether it’s a real danger or just an angry email from your boss—your body slams on the gas. This is your sympathetic nervous system. Your brain’s alarm center fires off a signal, releasing a flood of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. Adrenaline gets your heart pounding and pushes blood to your muscles. Cortisol jacks up your blood sugar for a quick energy boost and shuts down anything non-essential, like digestion.

This system is a brilliant piece of engineering for escaping an actual threat. The problem is, in our modern world, a traffic jam or a looming deadline can trigger that exact same massive response.

The Brake Pedal (Your “Rest-and-Digest” State)

And then there’s the brake. This is your parasympathetic nervous system, and its job is to calm everything back down. It slows your heart rate, lowers your blood pressure, and gets your body back into recovery and digestion mode. The absolute MVP of this system is a long nerve called the vagus nerve. It’s like a superhighway running from your brain down to your gut, connecting to your heart and lungs along the way. When you stimulate this nerve, you send a powerful “all clear” signal to your entire body. Learning how to consciously activate it is the real key to managing stress.

Okay, But Where Do I Even Start?

Seeing all these options can be overwhelming in itself. So let’s make it simple. If you’re new to this, here’s a super easy 1-week plan to get you started:

• Days 1-3: Don’t try to do everything. Just focus on one thing: the Physiological Sigh. Whenever you feel a little stressed, do it two or three times. That’s it.
• Days 4-7: Keep doing the sigh as needed, but now add a daily 10-minute walk. Don’t worry about speed or distance. Just move your body and pay attention to your surroundings.

That’s your starting point. Master these two simple habits, and then you can start layering in more.

Your Foundational Toolkit for Regulation

These are the core practices I teach everyone. Think of them as skills you build over time, not quick fixes. Consistency is way more important than intensity here.

1. Breathe on Purpose

Breathing is the fastest, most direct lever you can pull to change your physical state. You can do it anywhere, and it’s free. When you’re stressed, you breathe shallow and fast. By consciously slowing it down, you are literally sending a message to your brain that you are safe. You’re manually hitting the brakes.

• The Physiological Sigh: Experts have found this to be one of the quickest ways to calm down in real-time. It works by re-inflating tiny air sacs in your lungs that can collapse when you’re stressed. How to do it: Take two sharp inhales through your nose (a big one, then a short top-up one without exhaling). Then, a long, slow, extended exhale through your mouth. When to use it: The moment you feel that wave of anxiety. Just one to three rounds can make a huge difference.
• Box Breathing: This is a classic for a reason—it’s used by people in high-pressure jobs to stay calm. The structure gives your brain something to focus on besides the stressor. How to do it: Inhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 4. Exhale for 4. Hold for 4. Repeat. Quick tip: Try doing this for just 3 minutes each morning to start your day on a calmer note. If holding your breath feels weird, just shorten the count to 3 seconds. The goal is comfort, not strain.

2. Move to Process Stress

When your body is flooded with stress hormones, it’s primed to do something. Movement is how you complete that stress cycle. But the type of movement really matters.

High-intensity workouts can be great for “burning off” stress, but if you’re already running on empty, a punishing workout can sometimes be just another stressor. So, how do you know if it’s too much? Here’s a good rule of thumb: If you feel totally drained and exhausted the next day, not just right after, that’s a sign you pushed too hard. Scale it back.

Often, gentle, rhythmic activities are much more effective for calming the nervous system. Think walking, swimming, or cycling. The repetitive motion is incredibly soothing for the brain. A daily 20-minute walk outside is one of the most powerful tools you have.

Time-Saving Hack: Don’t have a 20-minute block? Try “movement snacking.” Walk up and down the stairs for two minutes between meetings. Do some simple stretches while your coffee brews. Stress relief doesn’t have to be a whole separate event in your calendar.

The Gut-Brain Connection (Yes, It’s a Real Thing)

For a long time, the gut was totally overlooked when it came to mental health. Now we know better. The connection between your gut and your brain is a two-way street. An unhappy gut sends stress signals to the brain, and a stressed-out brain messes up your gut. It’s a vicious cycle.

Believe it or not, about 90% of your body’s serotonin—a key mood-regulating chemical—is made in your gut. When your diet is full of processed junk and sugar, it can throw your gut bacteria out of whack, which can directly contribute to anxiety and a lower tolerance for stress.

You don’t need some crazy restrictive diet. The goal is just to add more good stuff in. Here’s a simple shopping list to get you started:

Beginner’s Gut-Health Shopping List:

For about $20-25, you can get a great starting lineup at any grocery store like Kroger or Safeway. Grab some plain Greek yogurt (look for “live and active cultures” on the label, it’s usually around $5), a bag of spinach or kale ($3), a small bag of almonds ($6), and a can of salmon or a few avocados ($4-6). You’re not trying to be perfect; you’re just trying to add in foods that support your system.

Your Stress Emergency Kit

Okay, what about when you feel a panic attack coming on right now? You need tools that work in seconds. Here’s your go-to emergency kit.

1. The Physiological Sigh (Do this first!)
Take two sharp inhales through your nose, then one long, slow exhale through your mouth. Do it two or three times. It’s the fastest way to hit the brakes.

2. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
When you’re stuck in an anxiety spiral, this technique forces your brain to focus on the present moment instead of the future worry. Wherever you are, pause and gently notice:

• 5 things you can SEE: The texture of your desk, a light fixture, the color of your shoes. Be specific.
• 4 things you can FEEL: The weight of your feet on the floor, the fabric of your shirt, the cool air from a vent.
• 3 things you can HEAR: The hum of your computer, a distant car, your own breath.
• 2 things you can SMELL: The faint scent of soap on your hands or coffee in the air. (If you can’t smell anything, just imagine two smells you like).
• 1 thing you can TASTE: The lingering taste of your lunch, or just the neutral taste in your mouth.

You literally can’t be lost in anxious thought and fully in your senses at the same time. This technique forces a mental shift.

Using Your Senses and Environment to Your Advantage

Beyond the emergency stuff, you can make small changes to your environment and daily habits that gently tone your nervous system over time.

For instance, you can gently stimulate that all-important vagus nerve. Splashing your face with cold water or ending your shower with 30 seconds of cold can do it. (Heads up! If you have a heart condition, please talk to your doctor before trying any cold exposure). Another way is through vibration. The vagus nerve is connected to your vocal cords, so humming, singing, or even gargling with water for 30 seconds can create a gentle vibration that tones the nerve. It might feel silly at first, but it’s a legitimate physiological tool that ancient traditions have used for ages.

Also, don’t underestimate the power of co-regulation. Being in the calm presence of a trusted friend, partner, or even a pet can literally calm your nervous system down. But the flip side is true, too. You know that feeling when you’re around a super anxious person and suddenly you feel on edge? That’s co-dysregulation. Be mindful of who you spend time with when you’re feeling fragile.

When Self-Help Isn’t Enough

These tools are incredibly powerful for managing daily stress, but they aren’t a substitute for professional help when you really need it. It takes real strength to ask for help.

Please reach out to a professional if your stress or anxiety is constant, messes with your ability to work or maintain relationships, or if you’re leaning on unhealthy coping habits. And let’s be real for a second: therapy can be expensive. A typical session can run anywhere from $100 to $250. But many therapists offer sliding-scale fees based on your income, so don’t be afraid to ask. Community mental health centers are another great, more affordable option.

If you need help right now or don’t know where to start, you can call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline anytime in the US and Canada. You can also visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website for fantastic resources and support groups. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

(Friendly disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes. It’s not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please always chat with your doctor about your health.)

A Final Thought on Practice

Learning to manage your stress response is a skill, just like learning to play the guitar. You’re going to have off days. You’ll forget to use your tools. That’s totally okay. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s about building a toolkit so that when life happens, you have a choice in how you respond. Start small, be patient with yourself, and know that you are capable of learning how to work with your body, not against it.

Inspirational Gallery

Weighted Blanket: Uses deep pressure stimulation to mimic a hug, encouraging the release of serotonin and melatonin. Ideal for creating a sense of security and improving sleep. Brands like Bearaby offer stylish, breathable options.

Acupressure Mat: Uses thousands of small plastic spikes to stimulate pressure points, releasing endorphins and easing muscle tension. Perfect for a short, intense session to reset the system. Look for a classic like the Shakti Mat.

Choose the blanket for gentle, prolonged comfort and the mat for a quick, invigorating release.

The vagus nerve, which runs from the brain to the abdomen, is the main highway of the parasympathetic (‘rest-and-digest’) nervous system. Stimulating it is like manually applying the brakes on your stress response.

Create your own

Ever wonder why everyone recommends ‘box breathing’ during a panic?

It’s because this simple technique directly influences your autonomic nervous system. By inhaling for four seconds, holding for four, exhaling for four, and holding again for four, you accomplish two key things. First, the deliberate pace prevents the shallow hyperventilation that fuels anxiety. Second, the balanced rhythm is a powerful signal to your vagus nerve to activate the parasympathetic

According to Sensor Tower data, the top 10 mental wellness apps generated over $400 million in revenue in a single year.

This explosion isn’t just a trend; it’s a response to a real need for accessible, on-demand tools. Apps like Calm or Headspace offer guided meditations, sleep stories, and breathing exercises that provide a structured way to practice regulation. For many, they serve as a digital

A common trap: Trying to force yourself to relax. Stress is energy, and telling it to

• It measurably lowers cortisol levels within minutes.
• It can trigger feelings of awe, which quiets the brain’s self-critical

  Modern neuroscience is increasingly validating what ancient traditions have known for centuries. The Stoic practice of imagining worst-case scenarios to build resilience is a cognitive tool to manage anxiety. Yoga Nidra, or

  What you eat can either fuel anxiety or foster calm. Your gut and brain are in constant communication, so supporting your body with the right nutrients is a foundational step in nervous system care.

  • Magnesium: Often called the